Slipped Away

As Arcee, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee walked through the ground bridge alone without their beloved commander, the humans ran up to them to greet them, asking them where Optimus had disappeared to. But Arcee walked away from the group, isolating herself from them. Her head was hung low and her facial expression made it obvious to the others that she was just as devastated as they were over the loss of their Prime. Ratchet knew something was deeply troubling her, and it didn't have anything to do with Optimus going with Megatron.

Before Ratchet had a chance to ask, Arcee excused herself and headed down the corridors. Jack tried to follow her, but Ratchet suggested that they leave her alone with her thoughts.

Once Arcee had turned a corner, she let one of her hands curl up into a fist and then turned to punch a wall next to her, damaging some of her circuitry from the impact. Primus! How could Megatron do that to Optimus? Anger boiled up deep inside her spark, her grief growing until it was bound to explode. She gritted her dental plates together in frustration. She had not only lost her beloved commander, but she had also lost her lover. Her other half... gone right before her very optics.

With tears trickling down her cheeks, she shook her head and headed to where Optimus' quarters were. She could remember clearly on the night they had convinced their feelings for each other and Optimus had made love to her. She could still feel his large, gentle hands sliding down to her waist, even his warm lips melting into her own.

"Optimus..." she whispered softly as she stood before his quarters. "You promised that you would remember... Why did you forget?"

She punched in the code that Optimus had shared with her in case she wanted to drop by into his room and talk. The door slid open automatically and she walked in. It closed behind her the moment she stepped in and found herself looking at Optimus' berth. She had never been inside his quarters and every part of it reminded her of him, even his scent still lingered.

Optimus didn't seem to have much in his quarters. A desk sat at the back of the room complete with a chair behind it and in front of it. Data pads were stacked neatly to one side, and a Transformer sized vase with a metallic flower in it sat on the opposite side of the data pads. There was also a couch on the right side of a room with a data pad on one of its arms.

When Arcee approached the couch with the data pad, she picked it up and skimmed through it. She was shocked that it was a set of poems written by Optimus himself. The first poem read:

I wonder if what's in you
That paints my world to blue –
Like the infinite sky,
The garden has countless hue –
But whenever I try...
To reach a flower by,
All I see is you –
The rose of colour blue...

For sure I can't pretend
So this is a note I send,
A message of admiration
One bud of affection –
"The sky may have infinite stars
Gardens may own countless flowers
But there is no one like you."
The rose of colour blue...

Oh, a rose of colour blue
How can I have a part of you?
How can I make you grow in my spark?
How I wish I could touch your rosy petals...
How I wish to feel the sweetness of your thorns...
But you are just a dream –
A dream that is a life away when I'm awake...
The blue rose of my dreams

Arcee couldn't read anymore. She put the data pad down and felt the tears fall faster. She wrapped her arms around herself, her shoulders shaking as she started to sob. Her confusion of Optimus losing his memories pained her greatly. He had not only forgotten about his friends, he had forgotten about her and their relationship. It was all ruined by the stupid sacrifice he had to make to save the Earth. Did he know that he would lose his memories in the end? Did he know that he was going to forget everything he knew and loved?

"Arcee...?"

Arcee jumped. She whirled towards the voice and found Ratchet in the doorway of Optimus' quarters, watching her with sullen optics. She quickly wiped away her tears, not wanting him to see her crying over losing Optimus. "What do you want, Ratchet?" she asked quietly, looking at the floor with guilt and shame.

"Don't pretend to hide what you're feeling, Arcee," Ratchet said gruffly. "I know what's been going on between you and Optimus."

Arcee stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean," Ratchet replied as he approached the blue femme until he was inches away from her face. "You and Optimus are involved in a romantic relationship, and I don't like it. Both you and Optimus have been through a lot in the past. Yes, he used to love someone, but that someone is gone from his life. And now that he has lost his memories of who he once was, you are now hurting."

She blinked in shock. "He never told me that," she exclaimed.

"Because his life is just as personal as yours, Arcee," growled Ratchet, jabbing her in the chest plates. "You're being selfish with your ironic behaviour."

She couldn't take it anymore! She just couldn't! Arcee slapped Ratchet's hand away, optics flaring in anger. Immediately she tackled Ratchet to the ground and transformed her hands into her blasters, the tears reappearing as she pointed the blasters at Ratchet's head. "Don't think I'm being selfish just for being in love with Optimus, Ratchet!" she snarled. "He and I made a promise to each other on the day we admitted our feelings for one another. He promised he would never forget our love! He promised!"

"Arcee, think about what you're doing!" Ratchet demanded, his hands covering his face to protect himself from her heating blasters. "Revenge won't bring Optimus back to our side! We need each other to pull through this together. With you hurting, you're the one who is hurting everyone by being stubborn and not seeing it from a strategic point of view."

The blasters stopped charging and Arcee lowered them somewhat. "What are you talking about?" She eventually saw the fear in his optics and the shock of what she was almost about to do to Optimus' old friend reflected in his optics.

"Listen to yourself, Arcee," Ratchet went on. "You're not helping Optimus by acting like this. If Optimus knew about your behaviour, he'd do more than lecture you. He'd remove you from the Autobots because he knows about your history with Airachnid and Starscream. When you lose someone close to you, you go crazy. Don't do this to Optimus, Arcee; we're all on the same page as you are."

The moment it sunk in, Arcee removed herself from Ratchet and transformed her blasters back into her hands. She wrapped her arms around herself and fell to the floor, the tears leaking from her optics as she broke down. "Optimus, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

Ratchet picked himself up off the floor and came over to her, wrapping his arms around her frame and pulling her close to his chest, giving her comfort. "It's ok, Arcee," he whispered. "It's ok. We all know how much Optimus means to you. We'll get Optimus back and I promise we'll do it together. Are we clear on that?"

Arcee just nodded, her shoulders shaking tremendously.

"Let it out, Arcee," Ratchet insisted. "Let it out."

Arcee did. She cried until there was nothing left to cry about. She missed Optimus so much that she remembered their night together. She missed his kisses, his gentle touch, even his comforting embraces. Everything about him she missed more than anything else. She continued to cry until she blacked out from the loss of energy.

When she woke up, she found herself lying on Optimus' berth. Ratchet was nowhere in sight, but there was a data pad beside her hand. Curious, she picked it up and read it, and as she read it, she found herself smiling fondly. It was a picture of her and Optimus as they sat side by side on the medical berth in a loving embrace. Ratchet must've taken a picture of them when they thought no one was looking shortly after Optimus had fought with Megatron and had come back exhausted from being exposed to the Dark Energon.

With fresh tears in her optics, she brought the data pad close to her chest. It was the only thing she had that kept her close to Optimus.

And as she quietly sobbed, the tears eventually dried and she looked up, determination burning in her facial features. "I promise to get you back, Optimus," she vowed. "Even if it kills me."

Still clutching the data pad, she got up and headed out of the room. There were plans that needed to be sorted out if they were going to get Optimus back from Megatron. She was going to make the Decepticon leader pay for what he did to Optimus... dearly.